Embracing your journey: My embarrassing moments as a writer

May 16, 2013


I had a friend the other day say something to me like, “What’s with all of this writer stuff? Since when have you wanted to be a writer? I feel like it’s coming out of nowhere!”

I can’t remember exactly how I responded, but I think I chuckled and mumbled something about the moment a couple years ago when I first realized writing was what I wanted to do.

But I’ve been thinking more about it lately, how I landed in this place. This, I-will-publish-two-books-by-this-time-next-year, I-contribute-to-awesome-online-and-print-publications, I-have-to-write-something-everyday-or-else-I-start-to-get-twitchy place.

Did I really just wake up one day and suddenly find myself in this position?

I have been adding thoughts to this post for a few days, as funny memories related to my writing progression keep popping into my head. As it turns out, it was full of way more (read: embarrassing) twists and turns that I even remembered.

– When I first started blogging, I talked a lot about social media. It was a new and exciting topic several years ago, and not simply part of accepted everyday life like it is today. I felt like I needed to write about it to stay cool and current. Ha! I eventually figured out that I don’t care to talk about marketing or media, so I stopped. Go figure.

– A few years ago I went through a several month streak of writing a short, snarky, detail-filled review of every movie I watched. Hubz and I enjoy watching movies, so I would spend at least 30 minutes in my cubicle the following day (my poor corporate bosses) on that movie’s page on IMDB referencing the exact spellings of the main character’s name and crafting my review. I never did anything with those reviews other than save them to my hard drive, and after a few months and several dozen reviews, I realized that I enjoyed watching movies but had no interest in talking about them in any formal capacity.

– I wrote a few reviews for tech-related products, like the Beats headphones, and published them here. Again, I thought that this was what people wanted to read. It turns out that people do want to read that stuff, as that post is (frustratingly) one of my highest trafficked posts, but it is nowhere near what I want to write about.

– When Gary Vaynerchuk, the social media and wine guru, was at the height of his new Internet stardom a couple years ago, I got really into recording and jotting down notes about the wines we would drink. As if I knew *anything* about reviewing or tasting wines. I can’t believe I did this. I even published some of them to Gary’s wine review/social networking site, which I’m pretty sure doesn’t even exist anymore.

– A year or so ago I spent some time setting up a profile on Elance. I had done a little research that said it was one of the best places to get freelance writing experience. Daily, I received offers to submit a proposal on certain jobs. I would immediately read each one, and then dismiss it, sometimes based on the pathetic fee they were advertising they would pay, but most of the time based on the subject matter that didn’t apply to or interest me. I deactivated my account after just a few weeks. The research was probably right in that it was a good place to get gigs, but it just wasn’t right for me. Pushing to write on random topics for random stranges for a one-time fee was not what I wanted, and I didn’t realize that until I got into it.

– Three years ago I became serious about carrying around and often writing in a real journal. Two years ago I transitioned that journal from more of a place to jot down notes and to-do lists into a place to actually record my thoughts, feelings, and daily happenings. One year ago I found myself turning it into an actual diary, with dated and time-stamped pages and a feeling like I had a duty to “protect” each page. (I’m weird.) Six months ago I started a journal for my daughter, and I am just as protective about recording things and not wasting that space as I am with my own journal.

– Last fall, on a whim, I signed up for NaNoWriMo and wrote a horrendously awful 51,000 word novel in 30 days. I started it on November 1st, finished it on November 30th, and I haven’t touched it since then. I haven’t even opened the file! (I’m afraid. I’m very, very afraid.)

– A couple years ago I started a podcast about books, talking out my thoughts instead of writing them. (Episode 1, Episode 2.) After just two episodes, I stopped. I have no idea why, as the feedback I received was pretty great. Big mistake here. Big embarrassing mistake.

I am sure there are many more weird experiences that could be added to this list, but I think I’ve made my point.

Any journey worth taking is filled with stepping stones. A lot of those stones I wish I could pick up and throw into the deeper water and make them disappear forever. Pretend they never happened. But I have to admit that taking action, no matter how “wrong” those actions seem now, always teaches you something. And I wouldn’t be where I am now without having experienced each one of those steps. I’m sure I might even say the same thing six months, a year, five years down the road about the stone I am inevitbly standing on today.

Today, the stone I’m standing on includes…

…writing for a small but mighty audience here on AS.com, where I publish once a week(ish).

…paid contributions to Silicon Prairie News and M magazine.

…paid ghost blogging for the owner of a local small business here in KC.

…paid ghostwriting of two full-length books for clients, one in the healthcare arena and one in education.

…writing in my journal every day. Writing in my daughter’s journal every day.

…writing one or two pieces every week that I tuck safely away onto my hard drive.

…working on two children’s books that I hope to get the guts to finish and publish by the end of the year.

Perhaps sometime soon I might sigh and shake my head at some of these projects, chocking them up to “just part of the journey,” but man, today I am pretty pumped about all of them.

Crafting any new skill and beginning any new creative journey takes time. It takes a lot of wrong turns and a lot of reflection. After all, how do we truly know we’ve made a right turn until we’ve already taken the wrong one? Or wrong ones.

Lesson: I am more vocal about my writing, and about how I love being a writer, than I used to be. But don’t mistake that for the fact that I just started this crazy journey.

I’m not really sure the point of this story, other than to say: embrace your journey. It might be filled with weird twists and embarrassing turns, but it’s yours. And it got you to the place you are today. And you wouldn’t be where you were today if you didn’t first take action, even if you weren’t sure at first if those initial steps were the right ones. You took them anyway. And you learned. And that’s AWESOME.

You are smarter because of those experiences. And, I’d argue, more interesting.

Embracing your creativity rocks. Yeah? :)

Hugs,
AS

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Dear Babygirl: You are 1

May 9, 2013

Dear Babygirl,

We bought you a balloon yesterday, and you kinda hated it.

You squint by raising your upper lip and scrunching your nose in addition to narrowing your eyes, so when it’s bright outside we can’t stop giggling. We now have 5022 overexposed photos taken in our back yard of primarily your front teeth.

You have the scrawniest little chicken legs and huge round eyes.

You have three laughs – chuckle, giggle, and belly.

You chuckle every time you see a stuffed animal, see a photo of a stuffed animal, see a real animal, or your mama puts something on her head or holds something in her teeth.

You giggle when I make the screeching-wheels-car-crash sound, the dog throws around one of her toys, or the door opens and you see the back yard for the first time in more than 15 seconds.

You belly laugh, well, only when Daddy is around. (He has magical powers.)

You regularly sign “eat”, “more” and “all done”.
You can wave, say “uh oh” and clap.

You can now climb stairs. (Sigh.) Both up and down. (Double sigh.)

You would much rather hand your food to someone else and watch them eat it, especially the dog, than eat it yourself.

The only food we have ever fed you that you didn’t like was watermelon.

You can sing when we sing and laugh when we laugh.

You can open the door, and close the door, and open the door, and close the door, and open the door, and…

You know which toys are yours and which toys are the dog’s.

You look at me inquisitively if anything is different, and notice immediately if I’m wearing a hat, wearing something with a drawstring or a big zipper or large buttons, or have on a watch.

You have 10 teeth, and no idea how to use them.

Daddy taught you how to splash your feet in a puddle a couple weeks ago, and now all you do in the bathtub is splash splash splash.

You really like Dora and Chuggington. Not much of a fan of that Daniel Tiger fellow. You are ob.sessed with Toy Story. We might need to send you to treatment.

You will eat a meal in any location – highchair, car seat, living room floor, Target shopping cart – as long as there is food involved.

You spilled my protein shake this morning, then my entire water glass, then flipped over the dog’s food bowls, then broke that small frame that sits on the side table in the living room for the 22nd time, all within the first 90 seconds of being awake.

The dog’s water bowl is your favorite thing to pounce on the moment you are set down on the floor. If we are upstairs in your room, that thing is your nightstand lamp. Girl, you are infatuated with turning your lamp on and off and on and off and on and off.

A few weeks ago you figured out that pressing the round button on my phone gets your photo to pop up. You are safer with my iPhone now, as instead of trying to eat it or throw it, you now carefully press the button with a pudgy finger, giggle and lightly shake the phone with delight over the darling little girl smiling back at you.

You know that when crawling on cement, pointing your toes is necessary to keep from scraping your piggies.

You try to leap off the changing table and run away naked the moment your dirty diaper is removed.

You dance the moment any music plays, which mostly involves wiggling your head back and forth. Sometimes it also includes waving your arms in the air.

You think juggling is the funniest thing you have ever seen.

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We bought you a balloon yesterday, and you kinda hated it.

It was hilariously endearingly awesome. Just like you.

Happy birthday, sweet pea.

Love,
Mama

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For more in the Dear Babygirl series: Letters to my Daughter

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Book Review: Lean In, by Sheryl Sandberg

May 2, 2013

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you know what I just finished reading. This puppy:



Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
Sheryl Sandberg

“Sandberg is the chief operating officer of Facebook and is ranked on Fortune’s list of the 50 Most Powerful Women in Business and as one of Time’s 100 Most Influential People in the World. In 2010, she gave an electrifying TEDTalk in which she described how women unintentionally hold themselves back in their careers. Her talk, which became a phenomenon and has been viewed more than two million times, encouraged women to “sit at the table,” seek challenges, take risks, and pursue their goals with gusto.”

You know that’s what I just read, because I can’t shut up about it. And here I go again, proving that very thing.

But you guys, this book is just so good. So very, very good. Like, really good.

And if you ask me to describe why, I’m not sure I’ll be able to place a finger on it. But I’d argue that’s the very nature of what makes an amazing book amazing; it just has that extra…something.

This is not a business book, but it talks about business.

This is not a blind, gung-ho women power book, although it does cover feminism and women-related issues.

This is not a career advice book, but it does talk about suggestions for your career and its progression and overall success.

This is not an “every woman should be working” manifesto, although it talks about what our world might be like if more women were in the workforce.

This is also not an “every woman should be at home with their family” manifesto, although it talks a lot about what our world might be like if more women had that choice.

This is not a textbook, although it contains a lot of facts.

This is not a memoir, although it includes a ton of embarrassing, funny, and poignant personal stories from the author and her friends, family, and colleagues.

Here is what this book is: eye-opening, interesting, funny, easy to read, inspiring, and motivating.

Here is who this book is for: professional women (you define that how you wish).

Here is who this book is also for: anyone, men or women, who knows a professional woman.

So basically, like, everyone!

Pick up a copy of Lean In, you guys. You’ll be so glad you did.

So there you go. I didn’t even summarize the book for you, but hopefully you got a picture of what it’s all about. Perhaps enough to send the sample to your Kindle, or pick it up the next time you’re at the book store.

Happy reading, all. I took a couple day break to let this soul-searching read sink in, and this morning I just started this one. What’re you reading?

Hugs,
AS

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Dear Babygirl #18: Grow up! Just kidding.

April 18, 2013

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Dear Babygirl,

Can you grow up a bit faster, please? There is so much that I want to teach you.

That’s all I wanted to say for now.

Love,
Mama

P.S. I was just kidding about that. Please don’t grow up. Like, ever.

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For more in the Dear Babygirl series: Letters to My Daughter

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Dear Babygirl #17: Stripes are so cool

April 11, 2013

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Dear Babygirl,

We have been so busy lately. So very, very busy.

It’s a good busy, this busy is. It’s not a stressful busy, in the sense of oh my gosh if I don’t get this done I won’t get paid and we won’t eat next week type of busy. Thankfully, blessedly, we have never been that type of busy.

But still, busy. This email to send out and that phone call to make and the presentation to prepare and give and those three people to follow up with and the article to edit and that chapter to outline. And oh, what time is it, 8? Awesome, all of this is due by 9.

Through it all, you are there. You are always there. Smiling and giggling and pointing to things with an excited “Uhh!” and a look in your eyes that says, “Mommy! Have you seen that chair over there? Because I’m pretty sure it’s the COOLEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.”

And I love when you find something that’s the coolest thing you have ever seen, because it makes me pause. It makes us pause, together. And we look over at that chair, and we look at you, and we take a breathe and nod and smile back at you and say, “Yes, sweetie. That chair IS so neat, isn’t it? Why don’t you go check it out!”

So you crawl on over and investigate the Coolest Chair Ever a little closer. You might touch it gently with a hilariously pointed chubby finger, furrow your brow, talk to it for a moment, then smile and turn back to us.

“Ahhh! Wuh rah!”
Translated into: “Umm, did you know that this chair has stripes? STRIPES! AHAHAHAHAHAA THAT IS SO COOL.”

And we take a breathe and nod and smile back at you. Again.

Those stripes, honey, they are cool. You’re right. They are so, so cool. Thank you for reminding us.

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It’s during times like these, times where our definition of busy is growing to new heights, where we appreciate and love you more than ever.

You remind us of the little things.
You remind us of how awesome a striped chair in the corner of the room really is.

I mean, it’s a chair. WITH STRIPES. WEEEEEEEE!

You remind us that yes there might be looming presentations and conference calls and deadlines and big goals, but you know what? Those things will always be there. And letting them stand in the way of living, of breathing, of smiling and enjoying each other, is not something you, or we, are going to tolerate.

You remind us that you don’t care about busy. Not one bit. Because there are chairs to explore. And many, many other things that you are sure will soon be your next Coolest Thing Ever.

You remind us that busy is simply a state of mind.

And that is reason #47,162 we are grateful for you every second of our lives.

Keep pointing out those stripes, Babygirl. Keep pointing ’em out with gusto.

Love,
Mama

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For more in the Dear Babygirl series: Letters to my Daughter

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How important likeminded people are to your success

April 4, 2013

Coming to you from Las Vegas this week! AMAZINGNESS all around with 6500 inspiring, forward-thinking, energetic, positive people at the annual Vemma convention.

It is, in a word, phenomenal.

And it’s not even over yet! Much more to come as the weekend unfolds.

I recorded this video almost three years ago, but it’s still just as applicable today. I thought you might like it.

You know what they say about the five people you spend the most time with, right? You will earn just about the same amount of money and have about the same amount of success as they do.

Is that what you want? If it is, keep it up. If it’s not, you gotta change it. And fast.

(If you can’t see the video, click here.)

Let me know what you think about the vid!

Make it an amazing day,
AS

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P.S. Maybe I should get back into the habit of recording videos. They’re kinda fun. Yeah?

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Plugging into the vibe this week

March 28, 2013

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There is a vibe. And I’m plugging into it with every molecule I can.

Conferences are the best. But they can be soul-sucking, too.

There is something to be said for gathering a largish number of people in a room, all with unique interests and talents but with a shared excitement – for innovation, for a trade, for a way of life or a goal or a unified vision. Buzz is generated when you get people together like that. And it could be any type of event or meeting or convention or gathering. Doesn’t matter really. It’s just one of those things that is awesome when it happens…when you find it…when you either make it happen or happen into it.

But then there is something to be said for gatherings of another sort. This kind doesn’t need a description other than it’s a gathering of people that, simply, don’t care. Perhaps for the general subject matter or to simply not be there at all.

Gatherings attended by your own choosing.
Gatherings by someone else’s choosing.

Big difference.

The former creates a high-energy, buzzing, energy. The vibe.
The latter creates boredom. And whatever the opposite of a positive vibe would be (A negative vibe. A vobe? Ha.).

I’m at Big Kansas City today. 400 people in an airline hangar filled with vintage airplanes, a crap ton of coffee, and that vibe, all gathered to listen and learn and inspire and connect at the inaugural Big Series event to be held in the Kansas City area. It’s special. Inherently because it’s the first Big Kansas City and I am a SPN contributor and thrilled to have the event here in my town. But it’s also special because, well, because it’s special.

Big Series events are magical.

Yup, that’s what I said.

Magical.

And although the branding and signage is top-notch and the event planning is picture perfect and the speaker list impressive, that’s not what makes it magical.

It’s that vibe. That untouchable, you-know-it’s-there-but-you-can’t-see-it vibe.

Babygirl is at home today, snuggling and playing with Grandma and Grandpa. It hurts a little, as it always does to leave a punkin for any length of time that you are used to having by your side all day every day. But it’s worth it. Because I plug into that vibe and I know that, whatever the vibe ignites in me during the next two days will be worth missing my family for. Whatever that fire creates in the next week, the next month, next year or decade, will be worth it.

So, I’m vibing. And sending regular texts to Grandma. :)

Have a great day, ya’ll.

Hugs,
AS

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What are you buzzing about this week??

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95 true fans (and the power of the few)

March 21, 2013

Okay. I’m going to share something with you, but you have to promise not to laugh. Okay? No laughing. Like. At all.

So, yeah. I have email subscribers to this here ‘lil blog – the lovely people out there that receive the full post content conveniently in their inbox whenever I post something new.

Perhaps you are one of them. You read and enjoy and trust my content, to the point that you let me into your circle just enough to share your electronic address and invite me into your personal world, the Sacred Inbox World. There are – wait for it – 95 of you.

95! Ninety-five.
I have 95 subscribers.

I’m not really sure what to say about this first, so I guess I’ll just make a list:

1) This is amazing. 95 people care enough about what I write here on this little website that they are willing to invite me into their Inbox World, where new residents are typically not welcomed and old residents are often discarded with a shrug. That is so, so cool.

2) This is pathetic. 95 people? There are 6 billion people in the world, more than half of them connected to the internet. The number of guests that attended my wedding reception is more than twice the number of people that subscribe to my blog. Seriously? Ugh.

3) This is amazing. 95 people. That’s, like, almost 100!

4) This is pathetic. I have 2,553 followers on Twitter. I have a tiny but mighty army of 124 on my Facebook fan page. I have 255 followers for my not-too-great photos on Instagram. And only 95 email subscribers? Ugh.

5) This is amazing. 95 people kinda sorta like me! And my writing!

Gary Vaynerchuk once said that all you need are a few true fans and you can accomplish anything. Not just occasional readers or customers that order once a decade or people that follow you on Twitter but never engage. REAL fans. Engaging, love-everything-you-do, follow-your-every-move, promote you on your behalf, fans. Fans that are also friends! Fan friends.

Fan family.

Sometimes all you need is a few.

My Vemma network marketing business leapt from nothing to generating a 6-figure stream of income for me in less than one year because of two people. TWO. PEOPLE.

One of my biggest writing projects right now stemmed from one person introduced to me last year by a mutual friend. One person.

Another big project was the direct result of one writing assignment for another organization.

(Sorry for the ambiguity.)

Scott Harrison, the founder of charity: water, has helped 3.2 million people get access to clean drinking water over the the last 6 years. His team is large now. But at the beginning, it was just him. One guy.

(I have seen Scott talk in person about charity: water. Holy woah. Watch this.)

I don’t mean to get all sappy and say that one person can really change the world. But, you guys, one person really can change the world.

So the fact that I have 95 of those world-changing people who invite me into their inboxes? Well, it makes this geeky mama get all embarrassed and smiley.

It’s good to remind yourself that sometimes, all it takes is a few people. Sometimes it’s less, sometimes a bit more. But the point is there.

You don’t need thousands or even hundreds of so-so fans. Thousands aren’t necessary to call yourself a success.

If I self-published a book later this year (ahem hint hint ahem), and only one person bought it, what would that feel like?

For a not-yet-published, newbie writer, having one fan who was willing to shell out a few of their hard-earned dollars to read something I wrote would feel pretty darn swell.

True fans. I have 95 of them. You’re one! (Right?)

So many of my posts seem to morph into being love letters to my readers. But there’s a reason for that!

It’s because you’re just so darn awesome. All 17 44 95 of you.

Thanks for being you.

Hugs,
AS

P.S. If you have even one follower, you’re a leader. A success. Don’t forget that, mmkay?

P.P.S. The first follower is the hardest one. If you can have one tiny tidbit of success, you can have a whole boatload. Don’t forget that either.

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