Ups and downs and feeling contented

January 12, 2015

Last week I hit Submit on the withdrawal request from Amazon Payments into my bank account, sending the Kickstarter funds my way direction, where I then immediately sent them on to the illustrator.

Just now I found a fully completed draft of a blog post all about the Kickstarter campaign that I never published. Which means the number of blog posts on one of my most public platforms (this website) about one of the biggest projects I’ve ever launched (the children’s book campaign) added up to: zero. Nice going, Annie! Way to be efficient with your marketing efforts.

This morning we all ate healthy breakfasts and delighted ourselves with a game of peekaboo lead mostly and hilariously by my 10 month-old. I made four loaves of banana bread with my oldest daughter, ate a solid lunch, and never had to issue a timeout or calm a meltdown.

The living room and foyer of my home haven’t seen a dust rag since Thanksgiving and the laundry basket filled with dirty clothes has been sitting in the middle of the dining room since Thursday.

Last weekend I added a new marketing strategy to my efforts to continually grow my Vemma business and I’m feeling awesome about it.

My business is still so small in the grand scheme of things that I’m often overcome with feelings of immense loss and guilt at the amount of money we’re leaving on the table.

Our two rental properties have been (knock on wood) smooth sailing lately, and we’re thrilled with the accumulation of our LLC’s bank account after nominal effort from us.

We’re frustrated that we haven’t made a deal to flip a house or two yet. These deals are everywhere, all the time, and we haven’t found one because…we haven’t tried.

We have lived in our current home more than a year now, and are making progress daily in regards to updating, furnishing, and decorating it.

When I walk in I still see undecorated, unremodeled, barely furnished rooms from 1982 that leave me feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.

Ying and yang. Up and down. Hee and haw (huh?).

This is life lately, I feel like. For me. For us. (For everyone, perhaps.)

Everything has to do with your point of view and every, single thing and area and person in our lives can be evaluated as something joyfully fantastic or utterly disappointing.

I’m pretty sure this is just what life is. The good with the bad. Appreciating and acknowledging Good while embracing Bad because wouldn’t Good look much less rosey without it? And isn’t that where growth lies? And without growth there is, what…boredom? No fun? Stagnation?

What a yucky word.

I still have work to do in this department, this Embrace All The Things department, but I’m getting better at it. Good and bad. Up and down. I’m getting better at finding contentment – such a powerfully simple word – in both.

I can do it, I’ve found my self-talk saying lately.

I can do this. We can do this. You can do this.

It is what it is; the goods and the bads. For now. We’re growing and changing and evolving and tomorrow the goods will be greater and the bads will be lessened, and tomorrow there will be different goods and new bads. Always. Neverending.

And that’s okay. I’m content about it. More laid back, perhaps. Or just…okay with it all. A feeling of working hard and playing hard and leaving stress where it needs to be, which 99.9% of the time is on the backburner, at best.

Goods and Bads, Goods and Bads, Goods and Bads. Or maybe more like Goods and Not So Goods But That’s Okay.

I’m growing to appreciate them all, and admire the ebbs and flows of life. Family, work, home. It’s a messy and tangled web.

(See what I just did there? The photo of her hair, then the mention of a tangled web? Full circle. You’re welcome, I’m here all day.)

Happy Monday, friends.



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